I have been slacking off on posting, partly because I have not been out to any new or exciting places.
I have said good bye to one of my best friends here; she has moved back to the states at the end of a 3 year ex-par contract, and in the process have been musing about some of the things that made the transition here a bit less painful for us. I see many people who come, even on short term contracts, and don't last. I can't blame anyone--it is difficult to adjust to so many differences; even more so if you do not have an "end date" in mind or the comradery that goes along with having a child in an International school among other families in similar situations.
There is nothing special about us, or the others who find they make it past those first couple of years and settle into enjoying a new culture (and our family is certainly not alone!), but I do think some things help make the adjustment period easier. Here are 5 such things that popped into my head today (in no particular order), and might be helpful to anyone who might be considering a leap over a border:
1. Cook from scratch. You won't find nearly as many convenience food items on the shelves in Germany as you do in the US, and what you DO find is not the same. If your pallet is accustomed to boxed macaroni and cheese, Campbells soup and Quaker brown sugar oatmeal; well you will have that much more to miss. Even cooking from scratch there will be basic ingredients you cannot find, but that is becoming less and less the case, and you should be able to replicate a large amount of your "back home" meals when you want to.
This is also helpful from a time and stress perspective. There is enough to deal with when you are a stranger in a strange land, that adding "learning to cook" to the list is really not a good idea.
2. Be comfortable driving a stick shift. I have always preferred a standard transmission, and even special ordered my Ford Focus in the US to have one. Once I moved to a country where 95% of the cars have stick shifts, speeds on the highway easily top 100 MPH, many streets are extremely narrow, and there are some "different" driving rules (most intersections do not have a stop sign, but you always need to look for and yield to cars coming from your right for example)--I was grateful to not be struggling with learning to shift gears while I was struggling with all the rest.
3. Be independent from family. This is a big one. It seems that most of the people I see throwing in the towel early, returning unhappy with their experience, miss their extended families. If you are accustomed to being able to "go home" for every major holiday, and international move will be awfully hard on you. Even more so if you are used to living near enough to family that you all get together for birthday or other events every month or so, or that you always know you can call on them to help out if you become seriously injured or ill, etc.
Once you are on another continent, well you are pretty much totally on your own. Flights over are expensive, and need some lead time. Flights during school holiday are even pricier, and there is a good chance your children's school schedules will not align with their cousins'. You really need to be okay with contact being primarily via email and skype and phone calls and with missing out on get together, or even mailed gifts for holiday (postage is pricey).
4, Walk. Walk a lot. What feels like a short trip on foot to me now, is often exhausting to visiting Americans. If you plan on going to Europe, plan on walking often and far and using public transit for many things (which means more walking). While you are at it, if you plan on moving to Germany, or pretty much anywhere north of here, bike. The one form of transit that I think Germans love more than their cars is their bikes. These are awfully useful and there are also dozens of lovely paths to enjoy just for fun on any nice weather day--don't miss out on this.
5. Get over your modesty. If not being given a paper gown to cover up with at the doctor's office, or walking into a spa to find that no one is wearing anything and you are not allowed to either, is going to really upset you, this is probably not somewhere you want to be. Same goes for seeing full frontal nudity (of either gender) on TV or newspapers (prominently displayed at McDonald's), etc. While many of our ideas of modesty made it across the Atlantic, they seem to stop at the English Channel.
I do think we will get out adventuring this weekend--so hopefully there will be some photos to enjoy soon.
--Hadley
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