A visit to New Hampshire in the fall

The last place we lived in the US was New Hampshire, up in the Lakes Region, to be a bit more precise.  I've been fortunate to live in some really beautiful places, places like the dramatic mountains of Colorado and the mystic swampiness of Caddo Lake in Texas, but it is New Hampshire takes the prize as my very favourite.

Unlike the dramatic beauty of the Rockies, where I spent most of my childhood, the beauty of the Lakes Region is comfortable, calming, homey.  The drama comes in only in fall, when the legendary New England Fall Foliage hits you and for a couple of weeks a year, it is all you can do not to wreck the car as you drive past such loveliness.  Autumn is gorgeous in many places, the golden Aspen in Colorado are nice; the reds, yellows and oranges of huge trees in Michigan, Texas and Heidelberg are all lovely, but none of those places compare.

So, when David ended up with a rare business trip stateside, right back to our old home, and in the fall, I jumped at some low airfare and was thrilled to tag along.  How could I turn down the chance to visit old friends, see those lovely trees, get a jump on holiday shopping, and eat at all my favourite places?

We arrived about a week after "peak" but it was still pretty darn gorgeous on that first day (photos do not do it justice).  I had forgotten just how pretty it can be:

We headed straight up the little town of Meredith, right on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee because it is one of my very favourite places, such a sweet little town, with lovely views of the lake, great homey hotels (The Inn at Mills Falls and Church Landing), cute independent shops  and one of my favourite restaurants ever (by the way, I highly recommend the area for family or couples vacations in summer or fall--lots to do and just pretty all the time).  

We had rain on and off all afternoon,so we sheltered in some of the hotel bars that overlook the lake, but we still got out in between storms and just oohed and aahed over all the beauty.  

(a view out the window from the Inn at Mills Falls, the first place I ever slept at in New Hampshire and still one of my favourites.  I can enjoy hours just sipping tea and playing checkers or working on the jigsaw puzzle in the lobby alone).

We had dinner at Camp, which was the one "must do" I had for the trip.  Camp is one of several restaurants in town owned by the local, New Hampshire chain "Common Man."  It's a one of a kind place It's very small and all decorated to have the vibe of a classic New England summer camp (maybe this is a good place to mention that I loved summer camp as a kid, so the nostalgia factor is high for me in this place).    Unlike a real summer camp, the food here is excellent.  They had a brand new menu and one of my favourites was gone, but lots remained and I filled up on appetizers and their s'mores dessert, as usual.  (I really should have taken a photo of that, but just trust me it is worth saving room for, mmmmmmm).

http://www.thecman.com/restaurants-and-menus/camp.aspx

The rest of the week it poured rain (and I do mean poured), so those first photos are all I have to share--but I had a great week anyway.  It was so wonderful to see our friends again.  And we got to see a show in the community theatre we used to work with.  I really enjoyed shopping for some holiday gifts for the kids--there are still things that are easier to find on the US,

and I got to enjoy some of those American things I find that I still really miss like:

fresh brewed iced tea

all you can drink tea, coke and water (ICED water) in restaurants

Mexican food (I think about half of my meals were Mexican food--I do miss it, and I cannot even get the ingredients to make it all at home here in Germany)

American style beds with box springs and spring mattresses (though I prefer European style bedding with just one fitted bottom sheet and a duvet in a removable cover, no top sheet or other blankets.  How is that for a mish mashed preference?!)

Ice machines in hotels (are you seeing a trend about ice?  lol)

Target (I swear every expat I know heads straight for Target when back on US soil--we all miss Target)

Political ads (joking, joking, those were near constant, all negative and so annoying--I bet everyone in the US will be relieved when those stop after Tuesday's elections)

All in all a great week.  It kept me too busy to even get a blog post up.

--Hadley

When the push towards STEM goes too far

Marika is 17 years old.  Since her early toddler days she has spent countless hours in science museums and doing hands on experiments.  She's been on dozens of factory tours, and to dozens of planetarium events.  She's been building robots with Lego Mindstorms for years and knew her way around the internet at a young age.  Science and technology and a true understanding of how much of it works has been a part of her life, and something she truly enjoys, since almost the very beginning.  (She also grew up going to living history museums and art museums and reading, attending plays, etc---basically, EXPERIENCING as much as we could offer her)

For many years, she thought she wanted to be an engineer when she grew up.  She had great grades in math and science (still does!) and was fascinated by books like The Goal and by Dave's work.  She even did a two week internship at Freudenberg in ninth grade.

Then, when she was 15 (shortly after that internship) she took part in a Girl Scout Destination.  Many of the destinations are essentially vacations with other girl Scouts.  Marika wanted something with a strong service component, so she chose the one which provided that: working as a counselor at a camp for girls with disabilities (and their friends).

Three weeks later she came back full of an excitement and passion that I had never seen in her before.  Working at Camp Juliet Low (now called Girls Can Camp http://www.girlscancamp.com/ ) was simultaneously some of the hardest and most rewarding work she had ever done.  Her plans to be an engineer (which didn't appeal greatly to her once she saw the more the mundane work side of it on that internship) were scrapped in favour of becoming a Special Education teacher and eventually an occupational therapist, so that she could help "her girls" (and other kids like them) all year long, and even get paid to do it.

Marika has been back to the camp now for three summers.  She has also done loads of research into the fields she wants to study and work in and into the best universities to study at.  Her enthusiasm and desire to make this her life's work has not waned, and while anything can happen and I have encouraged her to keep an open mind in college and to not feel "trapped" into sticking with a major if she gets further in and realizes it is not a good fit for her, I think she has been fortunate to stumble onto the right path for her and imagine she will probably make her current plans a reality.

So now, as a high school senior, the natural topic that often comes up in conversation is about what she wants to do after highschool, where and what she wants to study, etc.  It is not uncommon (happens about 20% of the time) for her to tell someone her plans only to be met with comments along the lines of:

"why would a smart girl waste herself on something like that?"
"you won't make much money that way"
"you can do so much better"
"you must not be very good at science then"
"can you not get high enough grades to get into something better?"
etc

WHOA!!!!

I did not see that coming!  

25 years ago I had an argument with my highschool guidance counselor.  She was angry with me for signing up for more Home Economics classes for my upcoming senior year; I had already taken three as a junior (note:  I also graduated with more science and more math credits than I needed--I wasn't skimping on those to take electives I enjoyed).  I clearly recall her telling me that my taking Home Ec classes was a "slap in the face" to her and all of the other women who fought for my right to do "more" in the 70s.  My retort was along the lines of having thought the whole point of the feminist movement was to give us women and girls CHOICES and not deny us a path simply because it used to be more in the masculine domain.  Telling me I could not take Home Ec was just as bad as telling me I could not take Shop  and I wasn't going to let her limit me like that.

Somehow, I just did not expect that attitude to still be around, and even prevalent, 25 years later as Marika ventures out into the adult world and makes her life choices.  

Marika, who is frustrated by these reactions, has pointed out to me that really I should have seen it coming.  She points out that the messages organizations, like her beloved Girl Scouts send (a program she and I adore, one she is heavily invested in, in fact she is, as I type, in Salt Lake City acting as a delegate at their National Convention).
There is a HUGE push in Girl Scouting towards "STEM" careers (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math).  Technically, the policy is to make sure all girls get lots of exposure to these things as they grow, and see role models in the field (both worthy aims--as we all know full well that for a long time it was very hard for a woman to be taken seriously in these areas, girls often feel pressure to stop being good at math and science in middle school, women are still paid less for the same work as men, etc).  Often, the practice is to push STEM careers as the best to have, the goal, the thing worth talking about, to the exclusion of other careers (like Special Education Teacher).  Obviously not always, but often that is the message going out today to our Girl Scouts and to women and girls at large in society, from lots of sources.

Watching this, as a mother and a woman over the past couple of years, I find it bothers me for much more than just the frustration it causes Marika.

Not only are we, as I told my counselor so long ago, continuing to limit women if we push them into a pre-conceived notion of what we think they should be doing whether that is cooking and raising children or leading research teams and building robots, but, I think we are continuing to insult and devalue women when we repeatedly send out the message that jobs that were traditionally for woman are not as important or valuable or desirable as jobs that were traditionally for men.  I think this is intensified when efforts to increase women in male dominated professions or not done alongside efforts to increase men in female dominated ones (when is the last time you saw any sort of campaign to encourage more men to go into teaching preschool or caring for the elderly?).

Maybe we need to rephrase our attempts and reset our thinking a little.  I'd like to see we, as a society, make a strong statement that all sorts of jobs and roles matter and are valuable.  On one level we know this (I have never met a parent who does not want their kids to have good teachers, or a patient who does not want good nurses involved in their care, etc) but on several others we fail to acknowledge it (and not just because the money is, mostly, in those STEM fields).

Let's focus on teaching our children that society functions best when there are a variety of people doing a large variety of essential jobs and that those jobs all matter and are all important.  Let's make sure that boy and girls both get to explore science and math and cooking and literature and art and lots of different things, and see lots of male and female role models in all fields and when they find something they are good at or maybe even  ignites their passion, let's encourage them to jump in their and do it and be happy for them that they found what works for them, instead of trying to redirect them into some gender defined or (defying) box.

and that is my soapbox for today!

--Hadley

Stranger in every land

A few weeks ago a posted about the sense of paranoia, or fear mongering that I felt when visiting America (that post is here, if you somehow missed it and want to know what I am going on about:  http://hadleyswanderingsandramblings.blogspot.de/2014/09/land-of-paranoid.html ).

That post generated a lot of commentary on my facebook page--and one of the first comments was that I now see American as a "foreigner"  I don't dispute that at all.  In fact, that was sort of the point of the post: how, having been OUTside the country for so long, I felt this so much more acutely than I did when I lived there and was accustomed to the constant messages in the media, etc (though I felt it to a lesser degree then).   I guess I always thought that was somewhat the point of many of my ramblings--that my views, always a bit quirky and out of the norm, are more so now that I am living in another culture and experiencing a different way of doing things.

 So, yeah, I am pretty much a foreigner in my home country these days.  In the past five and a half years I have spent a sum total of 8 weeks on US soil that was not Disney property (and we all know that is not reality, but it would be 11 weeks if you want to count those).  If I did the math right, that works out to about 3% of my time.  So, of course, I am completely out of the loop on American culture at this point.  The US hasn't frozen in early 2009 and not evolved and changed (nor have I as an individual), but my experience with it, for the most part has.

The result is, sometimes, quite unsettling.  In many ways it is harder to deal with not fitting in when I go "home" than it is being in a totally new environment, or even one I have visited before, but only as a tourist.  It makes sense (both logically and emotionally) for me to feel a little lost and a little overwhelmed when visiting Milan or Paris.  The noise level, and honking, and people pushing up against you closer than Germans would in public; the prices feeling off of my norm for everything from food to t-shirts to train fare, etc is to be expected when I am a tourist.
 Logically, I know to expect the same when I return to the US these days, but emotionally, home is supposed to be comfortable and familiar and, well, easy.  Even going in expecting it, on a deeper level it is still a jolt and disorienting and rather unsettling to not just slide in and fit comfortably there anymore.

But here is the great catch-22: even though I now have that "foreign" view of the USA, I am still very much an outsider in Germany as well.  I still don't have the language down really well.  Quite honestly, I doubt I will ever master the complex grammar.  For now, after all these years, it is still a terrific strain to get through an "elternabend" (bi monthly parent's night at school) and understand all that is being said, especially when parents chat with one another while the teachers are speaking.  I mean, really, how at home in a culture can you be when you have to WORK at simply understanding what the new attendance policy is at the school or which supplies your kid needs to bring in by next week?

Beyond the language barrier, the much bigger cultural issues loom.  By dent of not having grown up here, there are always, ALWAYS things that feel "off" or "funny" or just "different" to me (and conversely, things that I do scream "foreigner" to the Germans around me), or things that I simply do not know and no one else thinks to tell me because it is so ingrained in this culture that it never crosses the mind of a local that I don't already know it.

So, my tendency to walk around my neighborhood with an ice filled beverage and smile at anyone I pass screams AMERICAN to, well, pretty much the whole town.

And I still don't like fizzy water, or the way the German school system tracks kids starting after fourth grade (or keeps people who really excel in one area from studying that in college if they are not high achieving in all areas), and I can still be taken aback by how abrupt and to the point Germans can be and have to remind myself that it is not meant as rude or hurtful and just is how things are done here.

And it can take months of landlady issues before someone realizes I might not know about mietveriens and tells me about this awesome place I can get help.  Or, it takes months to find a tutor for Rio, partly because I don't even know where to look or what to put on a flier seeking one and partly because, not being from here, I don't have a network of friends and friends of friends who can ask around for me.

At the end of the day, no German is ever going to see me as German.  My accent alone gives me away (though, apparently, often as Ducth? lol).  While, at the same time, I am increasingly, obviously, not really American.

So, where do I fit in?  Where do I belong?  The short answer, is: I don't.  I'm caught in this weird in between state of not fitting any much of anywhere.  We're not even a part of some of the communities of ex pats that sort of build their own pocket--we are not military, or on 3-5 year US contract that will take us "home" or onto another land soon, and pay for our kids to attend school in English with other ex pat kids, nor are we part of the "post doc" crowd of academics doing research and teaching at universities all over Europe.  There certainly are others like us--ones who just took the chance when a job came up, or for some other reason, and moved and are much more long term residents than the typical ex pat crowd, but also still deeply tied to our home nation roots.  Actually, one of the appeals of cruising for me is that we seem to end up on ships and itineraries that appeal to other people in similar circumstances, and for that week or ten days we feel normal.  We've sat down at tables for lunch in which 10 of the 12 people were from one place but living in another.  We've become friends with Danes living in Switzerland and Indians who immigrated to Canada but now live in Kuwait, Canadians living in Qatar and Germans who immigrated to Australia.  And all of a sudden, being Americans who live in Germany is just one more set of perspectives to enjoy and one more group of experiences that might help get a trivia question correct.

In spite of how this post probably reads, most of the time I don't mind not really fitting in.  I was always on the fringe of things anyway, and I often revel in the difference and love seeing so many perspectives and ways of doing things.  I enjoy comparing and contrasting and trying things out and laughing at things that strike me as odd (in a good natured way, of course).  I like seeing how things could be, and thinking about how different ways of doing things affect so much of our cultures and ourselves overall.  I love ferreting out possible connections and motivations and the like.  Overall, I truly enjoy the opportunity to look in at so many cultures with such a varied view and see the good, the bad, the in between, the silly and the frustrating and just soak it all in.

But, sometimes, if I think about it too much, it can be a little bit isolating and disconcerting--especially when I feel accused of having done something wrong for having seen something from a different perspective (and it happens from time to time), or when I am dealing with a difficult or scary situation without much local support.  And, increasingly often, I worry about what it does to my kids.  Is it a good thing that they have an expanded cultural view?  Are they better equipped to get along in an increasingly globalized world with people from hugely varying backgrounds?  Or is it a bad thing for them to have no firm sense of place, no where that is THEIRS?  Have I condemned them to a life of never quite fitting in and always feeling lost?  It is too early to tell, and no one decision sets the future anyway.  I can only hope that instead of feeling like strangers in every land, they can, for the most part, feel at home in many.

--Hadley

A stroll through lovely Malaga

Our one and only port stop on the Oasis cruise was in the Southern Spanish town of Malaga.  This was our second time in Malaga, and we find it to be an absolutely delightful little city and a super easy cruise stop.

RCI runs a shuttle bus from the pier into town.  Prices have come down since we were last there, and I believe it was selling for €5 roundtrip to those who are interested.  On a particularly hot day this might be nice, or if you struggle to walk, but for us, the 10 minute walk into town is a pleasant stroll and we see no need to pay to miss out on it.

Heading off the ship, just a few minutes walk away you encounter the city's beach. See how close the ship is to the edge of the beach?  We are standing on the beach in the photo and that huge "building" behind us is the ship!

 The sand is a bit rocky here, but there is plenty of space to set out a towel or swim, and lots of shaded areas and loungers to rent if you want one.  If you were looking for an easy beach day in a port, it would be hard to beat this one that can be reached in only 5 minutes on foot.

Past the beach, you walk down the smaller pier, where sail boats and yachts dock.  This is built up into a shopping area with many upscale shops and eateries.  Expect to pay at least double (and often far more) for a drink or snack here over the costs in town.  We stroll right on past everything and on into town ourselves (well, we often stop at the free public restrooms about halfway down).

Once past the pier, cross the street and you will find yourself in the lovely park.  This park goes on for quite a way in either direction, has tons of shade, lots of nice benches to sit on, beautiful flowers and is a wonderful place to just relax and people watch.  I seriously enjoy just sitting here and taking it all in when in Malaga.

Across the park, you can enter right into the heart of old town.  We like to cross over by the old cityhall and then work our way in past little shops, the remains of the old Roman amphitheater and cafes towards the cathedral:

2 cafe con leches, 2 colas and a big plate of churros for under 10 euro!  Right in the heart of the city.  You can't beat the prices.

I love this old cinema building!

The cathedral itself is pretty without being too much--it is certainly a small one by European standards.  What I really love are the gardens and trees that surround it, which give it a really nice and inviting feel.

All in all, Malaga is an extremely charming, very clean, reasonably priced town which can easily be explored on foot.  You really can't get much better than that for a short cruise port stop, or a longer land visit.  I hope I have the chance for another visit there soon.

--Hadley

Oasis of the Seas Stateroom Photos

For any new readers who have landed here after searching for photos: these were all taken on the Oasis of the Seas during her transatlantic voyage to Europe in September 2014.  I believe some cosmetic changes (carpeting, bedding, etc) might be made during the dry dock (going on as I type) but I think overall layouts and sizes of the rooms pictured will not be changed.

I am active on a message board dedicated to cruising, well more like THE message board dedicated to cruising: Cruisecritic.com   One of the things I enjoy there is finding the threads for people on my same sailing and getting to know some of my fellow passengers before we ever set foot on the ship.The cruise critic groups often arrange their own private shore excursions, pub crawl or various other activities.

 My favourite of those is the "cabin crawl."  For a cabin crawl, people staying in all types of cabins volunteer to "host" by allowing the group to come and see their cabin, and anyone who wants to joins in to see all the various layouts and types of cabin on the ship (well, not ALL, but as many as we can find willing to host).  I love seeing the different set ups and always participate in the cabin crawl if it is organized on my sailing (and always offer to host).  I was especially interested in seeing some of the unique cabin styles on Oasis, so after a few weeks of people on the thread asking if anyone was willing to organize it, and no other takers, I bit the bullet and agreed to take on that task.

Trying to coordinate about 150 people seeing 10 cabins kept me from taking as many photos as I might have done otherwise (but, overall it went really smoothly--we had a nice group of people to work with).  Here is what I do have though:

 Junior Suite

(deck 6: 6644)

The junior suite had a larger balcony than a standard room, the two loungers, in addition to the standard table and two chairs, were nice.

If was roomier inside, and you can see off to the right the walk in closet.  Lots of storage there!  Here is the interior in all its glory:

A note about Junior Suites to those less seasoned Royal Caribbean cruisers:  the RCI loyalty program works by giving you one point per night on board and an additional point if that night is in a suite (and an additional point if you are a single traveller paying for a double  room).  Junior Suites do qualify for this extra point, however they do not qualify for other suite perks such as the concierge lounge, ordering from the main dining room as room service, or private deck areas.  That naming can be confusing, so if you are looking at booking a JS, this is just good information to have.

Superior Ocean View

(deck 8: 8704)

All of the balcony staterooms we saw (ocean views, Boardwalk views and Central Park views) had pretty much this exact layout.  The only difference is that sometimes the rooms are configured with the bed by the closets and sofa by the balcony instead.  This alternates every other room in long stretches and has nothing to do with which view it is.  Personally, if you could find a way to know ahead of time, I think having the bed near the balcony (as shown) makes it easier to maneuver in the room.

Boardwalk View

(deck 8: 8713)

Here you can see the layout with the bed near the closets instead of the balcony.  Below are views from this lower level balcony.

Boardwalk View

(Deck 11: 11717)

I did not take interior photos, since it was the same once again, but here a couple of shots of how the view is from up on deck 11, so you can compare to down on deck 8  and see what appeals to you more:

Aqua Theater Suite

(Deck 9: 9730)

This was my favourite room for a group or family and the one I would consider paying lots of money for, if I were in a mood and position to so and we were travelling with more than 2 people.  The room sleeps at least 6 (some things I have read online indicate it can sleep 8 with a pull out sofa, but others do not say that, so I am not sure), has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living area with views of both the Boardwalk and Ocean and a HUGE wrap around deck space (THE reason for these cabins).  Note that the decks get larger as you move up higher on the ship, these photos are from the deck 9, starboard side cabin (it was hard to get shots without people in them, that I could post here, sorry for some of the oddball angles and missing photo of the large, master bedroom):

Master bathroom with tub

Bathroom off of hallway for use by those not staying in the master bedroom (which sleeps 2)

Extra bedroom (the master is MUCH bigger and roomier).  Sleeps up to 4 (there are two drop down bunks)

Ocean view side of the balcony

Large front area of balcony.  Ocean views in three directions and Aqua Theater off to the right as well.  It's shaded!  

Bar seating area with excellent views of the Aqua Theater (we were told this was perfect for watching both the dive shows and also the movies shown in the theater)

Another view of the little bar area

Both of the above are from inside  the living room area.  This room is about half glass with views of the ocean seen through the balcony.

Owner's Suite

(Deck 14: 14640)

I really liked this room as well.  It felt quite a bit more upscale than the Aqua Theater Suite, but lacked that huge wrap around  balcony and second bedroom.  I think it would be a GREAT choice if you were sailing as a couple.  Personally, I would not want to book it as a family (unless we had a baby in a portable crib) because the third and fourth passengers would be on a sleeper sofa in the living room.  I prefer the (less expensive) option of two regular staterooms to having to trip over a sleeper sofa and subject anyone to sleeping on one.

Full meals off of the main dining room menu and can be ordered from room service when you stay in a suite--having a real table and space to eat at if you want to dine-in one night is nice.  It's also a good space for playing cards or board games.

The bedroom is a separate room which can be shut off from the living space.  

What a nice place for breakfast, or dinner on the balcony

Notice how much more space the balcony has, and how much higher quality the furniture is than in regular rooms or even the junior suites.

Sky Loft Suite

Several days into the cruise, we found out some friends we made at trivia were staying in a Crown Loft Suite, and they were kind enough to take us up for a tour and to allow me to take some photos for the blog as well, so that is a bonus room to see!                        

While the Crown Loft Suite was really pretty and is an interesting use of space, I don't see myself ever booking one, even if money were no object.  It felt too large for only two people, and yet would seem cramped with four (and there would be no privacy for the adults with only a loft looking down over the kids who would then be sleeping on a pull out sofa).  With so much space, the option of privacy between the sleeping and living quarters would be more appealing to me and this layout does not allow for privacy.  It is bright and open though and I can imagine it is the perfect room for some.

The nice big balcony with multiple (quality) lounge chairs and a dining table set up was really nice.

The master bedroom area (and one of the two, nearly identical, full bathrooms) is in the upstairs, open loft area.  This is the dresser section of that.

Upstairs vanity area as you head into the bathroom

Upstairs bath

and the master bed (you can see the edge of the loft rail there on the right--this looks down onto the living room)

Downstairs bath (it looks pretty much the same, right?)

Downstairs storage area by the entry way

Downstairs desk/office area (underneath the loft).  This was kind of cool, but felt a little too business like for me.  If you had to take a working vacation, or were someone who lives and works onboard ships (yes, these people are out there) it would be a nice space for that.  Personally, I would prefer more of a bar and dining table set up that looked more homey.

Living area (those windows are floor to ceiling--spanning two decks--this would be pretty cool on a cruise with particularly spectacular views (like Norway, or sailing out of Venice--but then this ship would never fit in those places)

More of the living area

I liked the plants under the stairs

I hope you enjoyed this little tour of staterooms on the Oasis.  I plan to get a post up about our one and only port (Malaga) within the next day or two.

Finally, I want to provide a link to a website that those of you googling in English may not find on your own (as the site is in German).  I find this site to have the best collection of photos of many of the ships, with tns of pictures of the spaces and staterooms, all labled.  I think even people who do not speak a word of German could find their way around wlel enough, and this link goes directly to the Oasis photo gallery if you want more and better pictures to explore:

http://www.cruisetricks.de/galerie/index.php/oasis-of-the-seas

--Hadley