Six Years

Six years ago today, after an overnight flight and an exhausting layover in Dublin, we landed in Germany, ready to start the next chapter in our lives.

I think I was in a daze the entire day.  That day was preceded by just over two months of intense planning and preparation: deciding what to pack (we brought a total of 4 suitcases each), what to store and what to sell (most of our things), renting our house out (THAT turned out to be a complete disaster), gathering paperwork, saying goodbye to our wonderful friends in New Hampshire, and in what few spare moments we had left, trying to learn at least a few words of German.  I'd hardly slept for two months, did not manage any sleep on our flight, schlepped the heaviest carry-ons we've ever taken (before or since) for what seemed like a mile through the Dublin airport, and finally made it to FRA.

I think it was nearly a year before I really made it out of that daze.  We didn't move on a typical ex-pat package with the company shipping our things and paying for the kids to attend English speaking international schools and the like; other than one good friend who was kind enough to drive down often from her home an hour away, and always answer my frantic calls (I really don't know what we would have done without her), we were pretty much on our own.

In that first year, I learned a lot of things:

 I learned that German is a MUCH harder language to learn than Spanish.

I learned that schools here provide essentially no accommodations for children with learning disabilities. Being dyslexic makes it  pretty much a given that you will be placed in the lowest school track and only receive a 9th grade education.

I learned that it is surprisingly easy to find vegetarian food when dining out in the country known for its love of pork.

I learned that the above is not true in smaller towns in Bavaria, where I often made do with a side salad and plate of french fries.

I learned that German chocolate is vastly superior to American chocolate.

I learned to despise the German three tiered school system just as much as I dislike "No Child Left Behind" (it would be another year before I found out about and learned to love the German Waldorf schools).

I learned to love the amazing public health care provided for a very reasonable price.  We've never had such good doctors, such short waits to be seen and so little medical stress anywhere we lived in the US (though we did have an excellent GP in New Hampshire and also in Wyoming).

Most of all, I learned (or was reminded of) what I already knew: that I have an amazing family, one that loves one another immeasurably, and trusts each other and is a team.  I'm grateful for that every day.  That first year was hard.  David was travelling 80% of the time for work.  Every day was mentally exhausting just trying to keep our heads above water with the language.  We were struggling financially (thanks to the house in New Hampshire, and not one, but two sets of deadbeat tenants).

Six years later, David and I fit well here (though we STILL struggle with the language.  I was really naive about how difficult German would be for me).  We doubt we'll ever leave: we've obtained our permanent residency status and are considering buying a house.  Though, once the kids are out of school, we might well spend 3-6 months at a time in various countries so Dave can work on long term projects.

Marika's planning to return to the US this fall to start university.  I know she'll handle it well and do great; she's ready.  Part of me so so excited for her to be out there, making her own way in the world, but part of me is already missing her and our daily walks together.  It's going to be hard for me to leave her half a world away.

Rio also has permanent residency (new as of last week!) and just might stay in Germany as well.  Or, he might go back to the US for college and then come back here, or stay there.  Or he might work at a resort in Spain, then on a cruise ship, and then, who knows?  There's a whole world out there to explore and he is pretty interested in exploring it.

All in all, I think that leap of faith we took in moving was good for us.  The first year was exhausting and the second, well, rather brutal, but we made it through the hard parts and now we are all stronger, closer and more global (which has a lot of advantages).  I'm rather glad we took the plunge.

Six years. Wow.  Some days it feels like we're still new here, and on others I feel life before Germany was ages ago.

Here's hoping everyone is having a good Sunday, wherever in the world that this Sunday finds you,

--Hadley